Looking back…and looking ahead.

 

So. I really thought that I had written a post since my last one…but apparently that only happened in my head.

I can’t believe that it’s already 2011.  It seems like just yesterday I was leaving for China to study for a year…and that was 2009.  Crazy.  2010 was definitely a year of blessings; when I look over my journals, my pictures, my memories; 2010 will always be a memorable one.

Quick recap? sure ;)

I started off the year taking a leap of faith when I committed to meeting YWAM hockey in Europe to do an outreach to Finland, Russia and China, with the bulk of our time being spent in Russia.  When push came to shove, not only did I suck at raising monetary support from half way around the world, but I failed to get my Russia visa days before my flight left for Finland.  I told my family I wasn’t going, I couldn’t, not without a visa…but it felt like something kept nudging me to go, so I did.  Long story short (a very long story…)I got my visa. Like the last time I spent time working with YWAM Hockey, I felt changed by my experiences, felt renewed in my passion for God, felt like the I was going to be rewarded for the risks that I took in saying ‘Yes’ to an opportunity that was just too perfect to turn down.  I was rewarded; rewarded with relationships, rewarded with a new sense of purpose, rewarded with a spiritual support that I kind of lacked in China. 

Those two months were epic.  If we ever sit down for coffee..ask for a story, because I have a ton to tell.

Then when everyone flew home to Canada..I went back to China where I continued my studies.  In case you didn’t know I arrived there in September on Scholarship to study Mandarin, and in the progress had started forming some amazing friendships with people from around the world.  After my return, I got the chance to sneak in some travelling during my studies; and even had a friend from back home join me for a “backdoor tour” of Sichuan/Yunnan; where we got to see Panders (!!!) make some crazy Tibetan friends, hike the worlds deepest gorge, see some amazing scenery, meet some amazing people and just get a good taste of home :). 

The only thing about living in a foreign country for a year, is that you have to make all new friends, the problem with that is that when you go home, none of them get to come with you.  It’s hard not knowing when I’ll get to see my friends from last year again, and it kind of broke my heart.  It still kind of does.  But saying goodbye, also meant saying hello…to everything I said goodbye to 10 months earlier. 

My year in China was amazing; the decision to pick up and leave everything was a difficult one, but I’m glad I did.

Coming home was surreal.  I left my 6th floor dormitory at 5am and arrived in Vancouver the same day only four hours later (that’s with a 14 hour time difference).  So, although I was exhausted, coming home felt good.  Being met at the airport by two close friends, was even better. 

So I was in Canada, I stayed in Van for a few days, said more goodbyes, only to have more hellos…during all of which many tears were shed. And I lived with my amazing family in Saskatchewan for the summer, until I had more goodbyes to say.  And, even though I feel like I get to say a lot of goodbyes, they never really get easier.  Not with family, not with friends, nope not ever. 

So it’s September and I’m in school, and working part-time at the mall behind my house…fast forward four months and little has changed minus that I’ve completed all the coursework for my degree, have bought copious amount of clothes at half price from my part time job and have been incredibly blessed by a few friendships here in Calgary. 

When I got back to Canada, I thought I had this plan for what I was going to do with life, and I really should’ve known better, because looking back at my last five years, I never really plan anything…things come up and I say yes.  This time, I had a plan.  But.  Plans changed.  So now it’s January, and I have no plan (but I do have  a beautiful new nephew!!!).  I kind of wish I had a plan, but I know God’s plan is bigger and better than the one I could give myself.  So I’m just waiting.  Waiting to see where life takes me and what life hands me.  I’m excited, but kind of impatient and just a little scared. 

And yes.  I know.  Everything will be okay…but I just want to see it for myself.