double high five.

 

Three months ago my plans to leave Calgary were laid to rest when I got a job offer downtown; and I was happy, but not.

Something didn’t feel right, it felt like it was always as if I’d have a less than epic day at the office and come home to a house that didn’t really feel like a home.  I was struggling to feel grateful for all I had because I was being blinded by little things that were growing…and slowly crushing my spirit. 

Then one day a line was crossed and I made a decision that I needed something to change, because I couldn’t handle another month of me being this angry person.  I confided in my roommate and friend about my decision and she asked if she could come with me.  Of course.  So we began the search for a house that we could make a home.  Two days later, we were walking through a 100 year old brick house in Calgary’s artsy district downtown.  It was walking distance to our offices, was in our price range and fit both our personalities to a T.  The landlady said she liked us, and if we wanted the place, we could leave a security deposit with her today.

We knew it was perfect.  We knew we would be happy in a neighborhood where we could sit on the porch and people watch while strumming a guitar.  We signed a cheque and went home to break the news to our other roommate who we had been sub-letting from.

The news didn’t go over well.  Five days before we were friends, three days earlier shit was lost and there was a temporary friends off period, then we broke the news that we were moving, and it was no longer a temporary friends off…it became a permanent, angry, friends off. 

I always like to see the best in people, to give people the benefit of the doubt.  But at that moment, I had to do what was best for me.  Because I couldn’t live with the person I was becoming.  Because I had to stop being angry and negative and bitter.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m still a little bitter, a little negative, and a little angry.  But comparatively speaking, I’m a little happier, a little brighter, a little more excited to go home at the end of the day.  Yesterday I looked at Nicole and said; hey Nik, isn’t this crazy?  She replied, what?  This.  Me and you living together in the cutest house, in the cutest neighborhood.  How did this happen? :)  (double high five)

I met Nik 12 years ago when my family moved to Melfort.  We weren’t friends immediately.  But that one year when I really needed a friend, Nikki became my sister.  Her home was my home, her parents were my parents…hell, I even gave Willy a new name…stinky face (and it’s stuck even after all these years).  We made high school memorable, but then I moved away to China and we changed.  I remember sometime after I got back, Nik had something big to tell me and she was scared that she would let me down, that I would be disappointed in her; I never was, and I never will be.  And that is why 12 years later, after years of living in the same city and not seeing each other, of changing and growing and falling and getting back up…we’re still best friends.  It doesn’t matter how many years pass; Nik, you’ll always be a sister.